Scott McNutt’s latest Snark Bite chews on Gov. Bill Haslam’s rejection of Medicaid expansion as opening new opportunities. An excerpt:
Haslam’s refusal of the federal authorities’ offer of Medicaid expansion funds under the federal Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act was prompted by the Department of Health and Human Services’ unwillingness to accede to his demands not to have to do certain chores to receive the allowance, “even after I cried and stomped my feet,” he said. He added that Tennessee’s conservative GOP supermajority was no help in his battle over the money, because “they’re too scary to even talk to about it.”
“If Lt. Gov. Ron Ramsey even looks at me crosswise, I feel my knees begin to buckle,” he said, explaining that, because his spine is missing, staying upright was a challenge anyway.
Haslam developed his idea of turning Tennessee into a zombie factory after Ramsey and House Speaker Beth Harwell told him that refusing additional Medicaid dollars would demonstrate the marvels of a free market economy and force several Tennessee hospitals to close, leaving needy populations without health care access.
“With Tennessee’s alarming incidence of chronic killer ailments like diabetes, heart disease, cancer and obesity, these closures could balloon the state’s death rate, which made the zombie idea a no-brainer,” Haslam said. “For the fee of one voodoo priest, we can churn out thousands of walking-corpses-for-hire.”
According to Haslam, the new state law prohibiting local governments from requiring contractors to pay workers a “living wage” also means “more Tennessee workers making a nonliving wage, which means they’ll have more opportunities to become the living dead.”
Tennesseans should view adversities like scant wages, illness and lack of insurance as opportunities for pursuing a career in zombiism, the governor counseled.
“Even if you’re jobless and on death’s door, you can still find employment as a zombie, because the undead are in high demand right now,” the Knoxville native said.
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Note: In case you missed it — as I did last week — see also McNutt’s bite into the Muslim sink mop matter.